A Conversation with Midori Verity
Midori is the Founder and CEO of MOX Life, a certified human behaviour specialist, and is a mindset success coach, best-selling author, and show host.
You may have heard me speak about mindset in the past because it is just so important in every aspect of being an entrepreneur and business owner. How we think and feel about our businesses, our money, our work and our clients influence our personal brand, our messaging and how we are perceived by our audience.
Working on your mindset is one of the crucial pieces of work you need to do to achieve success. In our chat Midori breaks it down for us and shares some golden nuggets as to how we can all improve our mindset and some simple tips to recognise and shift negative behavioural loops.
Here are the links to Midori’s website and social channels:
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheMOXLife/
Listen to the Podcast:
Read the transcript:
Jane: 00:11 Hello and welcome to the Smart Women in Business, vlog and podcast. Today I’m talking to Midori Verity, Midori is the founder and CEO of The Mox Life, a certified human behaviour specialist and a mindset success coach, best selling author and show host. Midori is completely transforming the way ambitious professionals go for their goals by helping them discover the path to excellence, which is the path of least resistance. And in order to do that, you must break down your negative behavioural loops and replaced them with new patents, right? And this is what creates easeful lasting success in all areas of life. And you will feel like you’ve finally arrived. So welcome. Midori. It is my absolute pleasure to have you on the show.
Midori: 00:59 Oh, thank you Jane. I think that being here with you, especially with you in Australia and me in the United States. How great is that we can do this?
Jane: 01:08 It’s amazing. All the way from sunny California. I hope it’s warmer there today that it is here, it’s a bit cold. So tell me about your business journey so far. So how did you get to where you are today?
Midori: 01:23 Yeah, so I’ve owned several businesses over the years, kind of a serial entrepreneur, but the first business that we started was my husband and I, and we had had it for about 15 years and I remember waking up one morning, it was my birthday and just feeling like, Oh my gosh, what have I done? I don’t want to get out of bed. I just wanted to really just pull the blankets over my head and stay there for the next 20 years. And what was really going on was I was going through the start of a depression and what, what was happening deeper was that I felt like I was at midlife and that I was totally stuck. That I, you know, this was the life that we had. We have this business that was fairly successful. It was paying all of our bills, helping take care of the kids, helping with our house payments.
Midori: 02:17 But I hated it, totally hated it and felt trapped and I didn’t know where to go. Obviously I couldn’t go back to college at that point. And so through this journey that went on for about six months, I finally got to a point where I’m like, enough is enough. I can no longer feel stuck and depressed. And I just went on this kind of like a search, I guess, a soul search to find out what I was going to do next, how I was going to get out of this, because nobody knew. My husband knew I was a little bit bitchier, but he didn’t know what was going on. So through all of this, I discovered something called neuro-plasticity in neuroscience. And the beauty of is that all it is, it’s brain. It’s about our brains and how we have control through our of the stories that we tell and the thoughts that we believe in unlimiting beliefs.
Midori: 03:10 We have control of all that. And so all of a sudden I started to see this new opportunity of, Oh my gosh, I don’t have to stay stuck. I don’t have to be depressed all my life. Holy cow. I can be in control of where I’m going. So that’s how it got me to where I am now. So long story short, I got out of the business that I was running with my husband. We still have that business and it’s grown enormously despite what I thought and started on my own journey. And that’s what brings me here today.
Jane: 03:41 Oh, brilliant. I mean, I’m just in my sort of the beginning of my studies of neuroplasticity and how we can change our brains to change our habits and it’s just incredibly interesting and, and really transformative. So. Wow. What a journey. So, um, in, you know, every day you mentioned you have kids. How do you manage your life as an entrepreneur? I know it’s a struggle. We just come out of school holidays so…
Midori: 04:10 Well I have to be honest, you know, there was a time when like my kids are now, now I’m an empty nester now. And so my kids have gone on, but you know, I’ve had a business since they were born and so I know the ups and downs. I know the points where you get so stressed out where you think, I think I’m losing my mind. Maybe because it’s hard to balance things. And so now I’ve done it is one is this paying attention to these patterns that we develop, these habits that we develop. And what I mean by that is we all have ways that we react to things. And often it’s the knee jerk reaction. So if we’re feeling stressed over our kids feeling like, Oh my gosh, I have no time, I need to take them to practice. I need to have fun with slower, I need to cook, I need to shop, I need to get my business done. And you have all these things going. The way that you’re reacting is you’re responding to freaking out. Right? So that stress and anxiety,
Jane: 05:07 Where I was this morning, I remembered it was cupcake day. I made 24 cupcakes!
Midori: 05:20 Okay. At 6:00 AM. Got to love it. Yeah. I’ve got to let, we’ve all been here, but yeah. And so that’s one thing that I learned is to through this whole process of our mindset, and I know we’re going to go into this deeper, but just to take a breath and to put things in perspective and figure out, okay, here’s my situation. How am I going to deal with the situation? And often when you can take a step back and just stay calm and look at it from a different perspective, ideas start popping up and solutions become simpler. So that is how I learned how to deal with it. Once I discovered, you know, the whole concept of brain plasticity and started getting trained in it. But before that I ran around with a chicken, like a chicken with my head cut off. I was stressed out, I was yelling. I was probably not the most present mom at that time. So, yeah, I, I totally get what we go through.
Jane: 06:23 And I think every mother goes through that and it’s the mother guilt and breaking the habit of automatically going into that freak out mode or that stress mode or that yelling mode, which so many of us do as a response is that is is what you’re doing your work. So, um, before we go into that deeper, just this is a question I ask all my guests, what does a great day in the office look like for you?
Midori: 06:50 A great day. You know, one thing that I have become very religious about are something that I called 90 day goals. I create a blueprint for my business and in that, I know at the end of 90 days what I need to accomplish, I usually have two primary goals that are big needle turners for me. So therefore, I know each week what needs to happen and each day needs to happen. And so every single day, what I have gotten into the discipline of doing is having three primary goals that I set to, that I have to accomplish. And then once there done? I’m kind of free, right? Because really if could get three main things done every single day are Monday through Friday. That’s pretty amazing. And so that’s what’s worked for me. And then that gives me some breathing room too, so that if there’s other things that I’ve wanted to look into, if I wanted to watch a webinar, if I want to go have happy hour with my girlfriends or with my husband, I can, but that’s a really successful day for me is, is getting the three primary things that I wanted to get accomplished, done and not losing my mind in the process.
Jane: 08:02 So do you yeah. Yeah, that’s a great day. Not losing my mind in the process is always a great day. So do you focus those um, um, operations, business growth, you know, that sort of thing. Do you divvy them up? How do you work them out?
Midori: 08:18 It depends on what I’m focusing on right then I do totally, totally, totally believe in staying in your zone of genius. So for those who aren’t familiar with that term, that is where you really focus in on what you’re naturally good at. I am terrible at bookkeeping. I am too. Don’t ask me do taxes because I will go to prison for them. So I learned that early in my business. And so I don’t concentrate on that stuff. I concentrate on the creativity, I concentrate on working with my clients, and then I have team members who help me with everything else. So I get bits and pieces from them of what’s going on so that I’m clear. And then if we need to make pivots, if we need to have me deal with something, then I will. But I really try very, very hard to stay in my zone of genius. Does that answer your question?
Jane: 09:11 Yeah, yeah. I’m just, I’m always interested in how people structure their day because the point of interviewing all these amazing women is to help other women on their journey go, okay, how did they do it? How do they get to that point where I want to be? So, and it’s really interesting to get all the tips from everyone. So now we’re going to have a look at, well, uh, talk about the work that you did too, which is amazing. Um, so what, uh, behavioural loops that I mentioned in the intro and how do they impact on our lives as an entrepreneur?
Midori: 09:45 Okay. Yeah. So what I call it is a behavioural loop effect. So it goes like this, like, like you’re on a, on a race track, you can’t get off. So how does this concept works is that all of us have these beliefs, these thoughts, these limiting behaviours, limiting beliefs that we play. They all come from our past, whether it was our childhood, whether it was a past marriage, you know, whatever, it doesn’t matter. But it all comes from the past. And what happens is our behaviours, our actions support these beliefs, whatever they are. And then of course your results, which is the third component, reflect that. So as a business owner, the things that you can notice if you are staying stuck and you’re not progressing in your business despite making goals and having an idea of where you want to go, or if you notice that you’re going after these shiny objects way too often, you know you aren’t having a structure for them.
Midori: 10:51 You’re just kind of like, Oh, this is a good idea. Or Oh there’s a squirrel, right? You’re noticing those things. Or there’s a procrastination situation going on where there’s things that you should be doing but you’re staying stuck and you’re not doing them. If you notice in anything like that, then chances are very, very strongly that you’re stuck in a behavioural loop. So what you want to do the, there’s three A’s. I may be jumping around for you Jane, but I just want to kind of go, yes. So there’s the three A’s and this is super simple. We can all do it, but there’s three A’s that you want to use to start changing your behavioural loops. So the first one is awareness. You have to become aware of what is this behaviour, where’s it coming from? How, how is it affecting me?
Midori: 11:46 So one is becoming aware of it so you don’t keep replaying it. So it could be a scarcity mindset. It could be mommy guilt, it could be that you feel like you’re not smart enough, you don’t have enough education, you don’t have enough time, anything like this. These are stories that we play in our head. So become aware of it. And then the next part is the, um, action steps. So then you want to take action steps to change it. And this is where the 90 days goals come in. And then the third part of it is accountability. Having an accountability partner in there to help you push through. So that’s just really in a nutshell. Oh, our power just went on.
Midori: 12:32 Just for all of you. This is a sidebar. Our power has been out for two days. PG&E just randomly turned it off for, I think about 2000 homes in our area and we’re one of them. So, um, I just heard to go back on anyway. We have light, I can take a shower. Amazing things! But those are kind of just the three As super, super fast of how to break a behavioural loop. So one, you create that awareness behind what that belief is. And then once you create that awareness and you can come up with tools, then your behaviour is going to support your new belief system, right? So that serves you better. It’s going to support you better, therefore your results are going to change and you’re going to stay focused on what you need to instead of going after the shiny objects. So that’s it. That’s kind of it in a nutshell. Just very quickly
Jane: 13:24 In a squirrel nutshell. Yeah.
Midori: 13:26 In a squirrel nutshell.
Jane: 13:29 So you work with a lot of high powered people who have already invested in the education and development yet are feeling stuck and frustrated, which I’ve seen in a lot of my clients. They feel, you know, they’ve done all this stuff, they’ve done all this work, they’ve invested all this time. Yet still, they’re not feeling fulfilled. So that comes back to, you know what you’re talking about, what’s really going on? So then once you find that the common things that are going on.
Midori: 14:00 Yeah, so that is super common, especially the higher you go with your success. I was just talking with someone yesterday about imposter syndrome where we get to a level and we’re like, Oh my gosh, I hope no one finds out that I really don’t know what I’m dealing. Or not even that you don’t know what you’re doing, but that you’re not as skilled as they perceive as the public procedure you to be. This is, yeah, these, this is very common for even those who have eight figure businesses. And so what happens is we have, again, these stories, I try to keep all this super simple because it really is simple. We don’t need to go into technical, psychological terms. Cause I think the easier, the simpler we keep it, the easier we can deal with it. So we have these beliefs that are going on that we’re replaying.
Midori: 14:50 And that’s usually what happens. I have clients who come to me with two PhDs or you know, they’ve, they’ve been in business for a long time, but they’re feeling stuck and they’re feeling like they’re setting these pools but they’re not being able to achieve them for whatever reason. And when we dig deeper through, we have a, um, we have an assessment that we do that’s pretty intense. It’s very scientific. I did not design it. It’s been around for decades. But when we start digging deeper, using this assessment, we can see these loops that they were applying to and it’s amazing. So once we can bring that awareness to light, then we can deal with it. But there’s so many people get stuck in it. And you said the people who are new to business might not realize yet that they have these behavioural lives. It takes those who’ve been doing it for a while to start feeling like, Holy cow, what is going on? Why can’t I make that next hundred thousand dollars? Even though I’ve been doing this so long and I know my business. So those are the kinds of things to really pay attention to is when we feel stuck, there’s probably something going on more than where your education level is.
Jane: 15:58 Yeah. That, that the output level people talk about upleveling and how that, the fear around that, it’s, it’s huge. Even if you’re highly successful, everyone has that imposter syndrome crops up and when you’re new in business, I’ve been in business for 10 years, but when you’re new you don’t realize it and you just get stuck as you say, and these loops. So what signs would tell someone that she might be stuck in a negative behavioral loop?
Midori: 16:29 Yeah, so that’s, you know, going back to something that we discussed earlier, when you start noticing maybe you have a plan for your business for the year or for the 90 days or however you structure your business, but you’re like, you know what, I think instead of going after this goal, this looks really good over here. Someone told me about that. I should start selling these products. And you start veering without a whole lot of planning, right? Yeah. Oh, maybe this is better. I think this makes more sense for me all of a sudden. And so you know, those kinds of things. Or if you’re noticing that you have these things that you know you should be doing, maybe you’re supposed to be writing a blog post, maybe you’re, you say that you’re going to do videos, maybe, um, you have plans to do a retreat or for your, you know, with your employees, you want to have this big meeting, this big exciting thing going on to get your employees to the next level.
Midori: 17:24 These things aren’t happening. So that’s procrastination. That’s another big sign that there’s something going on. What I want to back up a little bit to what we were talking about a second ago about those who are, you know, they feel like, ah, there’s imposter syndrome going on. I’m not educated enough, or whatever it is. When you’re going to a next level, often you need a new mindset because the mindset that got you to six figures is not going to be the same mindset that gets you to seven figures. And it’s very important to recognize that the quicker you do and the quicker you get help for it to help you get to that next level, the quicker you’re going to feel that momentum and stop getting so frustrated from it.
Jane: 18:05 Brilliant. It’s just so interesting, um, that we don’t, we don’t learn mindset in school. We don’t get taught anything about when we’re at school about a will. Even budgeting would be helpful. But how much of a role your brain plays in your day to day life and how it can help you in business. So in the work that you do, what makes your approach unique? What makes it different?
Midori: 18:32 Yeah. Well, like I said, I’ve, I’ve owned several businesses over the years. Some have done very, very, very well and then others have flopped. And I have felt stuck before I had felt frustrated. I have felt completely so angry. I wanted to punch somebody in the face and I’ve cried for days and days and days because I was stuck. So I understand where they’re coming from. And I also have a business background to help them recognize it and get through it. So with what I do, what really makes it different is that I teach people these tools that they can use. And like you can hear me talking the three A’s, um, that the way that I talk about the belief behavior loop, they’re all very simple. And what we do through our program is we train those who come through to learn these tools to create an awareness.
Midori: 19:28 Because when you start seeing new things, prop up or pop up, you can recognize it and then you have the tools to deal with it. So you keep that momentum going. So that’s really what I have seen with our business that’s different, is that we empower you so that you can do it yourself. So we teach you and we’re there to guide you. But then later on, five years down the line, you still have these tools and you have a new mindset and need to have a new lifestyle that serves you really, really well. Yeah.
Jane: 19:58 And it’s about empowering yourself to change your own mindset. Cause no one’s going to do it for you. So what’s the, Oh, I’m learning that the hard way at the moment. So, but I’m right there with the baby. What is the first step that listener can take today to start shifting her negative behavioural loops? And I’m listening very closely.
Midori: 20:28 Yeah. You know what, just start with the awareness. Start with, here’s a really simple exercise that you can do is fill in these blanks. I’d love to blank, but I’m feeling resistance or fear because of blank. So what I mean by that is I’m gonna say it again because this is a really powerful exercise. I’d love to blank. So the blank is something that you’ve wanted to do or be or become for a long period of time. So maybe it’s that you’ve wanted to write a book, maybe it’s that you want to now have financial freedom. Maybe it’s that you want to have a business where you really don’t have to do much anymore. So whatever it is, think about that, write it in. But it’s something that you’ve wanted for a long time, but you haven’t achieved it and you’re not quite sure why.
Midori: 21:18 And what I want you to pay attention to is that feeling you get in your gut that saying, Oh, I know that I should be doing X, Y, Z to get there, but I’m not because I’m uh, I’m scared. I’m scared that I don’t know what’s on the other side. I am scared that I’ve never dealt with this level of client before. I’m scared that I don’t have enough education. This is where all the doubts come in and pay attention to that because that’s where you’ll start discovering those belief behaviours that we were talking about that have been sabotaging you.
Jane: 21:53 Yeah. And self sabotage comes up. Impostor syndrome, self-sabotaging are very consistent things that I see. With people who are in business, not just women, men too but women I think have a tendency. Maybe we’re more self critical. I don’t know. So, um, we’re nearly at the end about our talk, which has just been amazing. So what is your why? What keeps you motivated in your business?
Midori: 22:24 I’ve been through it all. I’ve been, you know, for me, I love business. I, it’s my habit. I don’t, it’s my hobby. I don’t garden. I’m a terrible cook. I really have no great skills. But I love business. Thank God I got that. So I do, you know, because I love it and I love the challenge and I love seeing the results of a business. I also have been on the other end where I get super frustrated because I’m not seeing the results or because things seem so hard or I’m feeling challenged or I feel like there’s a wall and I like I mentioned this earlier that I just want to like shrink and disappear because I’m playing at a higher level. And so what I, that’s what keeps me motivated is that I see it in other people. It’s easy, easy, easy for me to see it in a client. When they start talking to me I’m like, Oh there it is. There it is. There it is. And then helping them breakthrough cause it’s really doesn’t take that long. And when they see those lights going off, there’s nothing better because as women we need to support each other. And when we do, we empower one another and it’s the most cool thing because then we bring it back to our homes, our communities. That’s the beauty of women. We just get that. Yes. Right. That’s true. Yeah.
Jane: 23:48 Slowly but surely we’re getting there. Um, so what are your, you know, top three, number one tip for all the smart women in business across Australia and the world number one thing in their business.
Midori: 24:07 In their business. Stay in your zone of genius. Zone of genius. It helps you stay focused and helps you not get so frustrated and helps you just advance because you’re doing what you love and let the others do what you’re not. So zone of genius so that like, that’s the number one thing. Don’t go to prison over your bookkeeping. So not worth it. But that’s the number one thing that I see.
Jane: 24:37 Thank you so much. So we’re coming to the end of our chat and it’s been amazing and your work sounds incredibly transformational. So where can everyone who’s listening or watching learn more about you? Obviously I’m going to put your links in the show notes so everyone can have a direct link to use. So tell me all about it.
Midori: 24:58 Yeah, the easiest way is just to go to the website themoxlife.com and you can email me from there, but there’s all kinds of free resources for you. There’s a really fun little survey there that may help you recognise those beliefs that are getting in your way. Um, but yeah, so that’s a great one.
Jane: 25:21 Oh brilliant. I’ll, I’ll make sure that’s all in the show notes and I really appreciate your time today. Midori despite not having any power.
Midori: 25:31 Well now how I do. So this was a good, this was a good, Oh man…
Jane: 25:35 That was me coming in from Australia. Yay. Well thanks so much and maybe we’ll catch up again and it’ll be fun.
Midori: 25:44 I hope so. I have also, thanks for having me. Thanks so much.